today, i might seems to lose some things but from another point of view i might gain too. expected that i might be emotional but i could control my emotions well and not over- ruled by it. I wasnt that emotional after all. well well, now it's over but yet a beginning. things really have 2 sides but is how you see it and choose to see it in which way.

gary lee inspired me alot today. he's really humorous and intelligent. a few things tt were quite knocked into me was, Success is not determine by how wealthy u are. People categorise different factors. To me, success comprises of character, thoughts, responsibilities and how u are as a person determine if you are successful this is enough. Life is not about just ONLY money but how did you live it. Very true. - nods. You will be what you are influenced by and the environment you are in. 

The last one was, there's no right guy in this world, only u are the one that make it right. I totally understands. When i was 18 i tell myself i haven't meet the right one and still looking.. but now, i asked myself what is RIGHT to me. it's really u who determines the right.

When i start to get older, things complicates, problem start flooding in and it's gonna make you go goners. When you think back, how you thought about certain things in the past, and now it happened again, i realised tt e decisions i made were different,feelings and thoughts were different too. I cried and wailed about how sad and hurt i was. i wilfully and insisted in wanting it my way and obviously i was atrocious. And now the same thing happened again, i didnt cry about how hurt and unfair i was treated but still,  i teared about how stupid i am, i blamed but i blame it on myself. I want it, but i didnt make it my way. And when all this happen, u think back, u will laugh at yourself.

i know my weaknesses but i know i chose to deny them for a very long time. So what. Now i'm back and i'm still alone in my room, i still walk down streets and goes home alone. But yea, paid for the prices for living in denial but i want to learn from them. i would have curse and swear but they aren't for me anymore, it's tiring.

Maybe it just came back at the wrong time. i know i have to stop my weakness in order not to be hurt. I didnt choose to give this up or back out. NO it's not. but i just chose a easier way out just for the both of us. I'm not the little girl anymore, the little girl dont exist anymore. i dont need protections and safety walls cause i'm learning to build them myself. Loneliness kills every human being, very true. Life is such that i have to learn to live with it. BUT

life will still be beautiful. :)

loves,

erica.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!

it's a season filled with love, food, hongbaos, happy laughters and good wishes . Be bliss, good health and wealth to all my friends, family and love.

i'm gonna eateateatgamblegamblegambledrinkdrinkdrink.

thanks for loving me baby 

loves,

erica

say goodbye to 2008 soon. the last 1 month to end this awful year.

ppl may think i play too much now but MYOB man. but i really do enjoy my time.

mind has already set. now life is beautiful, just good.

I LOVE MY DIAMOND BLING!!!!!! -loves... thank you... :)